Shy/introverted people of Reddit: what is the furthest you’ve ever gone to avoid human interaction?

↪️Was 5 minutes late to school so I decided to skip school altogether that day to avoid the awkward class entry.

↪️Back when I had roommates I didn’t know very well, I’d spend all day in my room without meals to avoid awkward pleasantries. Then I’d get really hungry but the prospect of explaining why I’d spent all day in my room kept me inside. Then they’d text me and ask if I was okay, and I’d say “Yep! Just keeping busy with some projects.” And they’d ask if I’d eaten anything since they hadn’t seen me, and I’d say “Yep! Trust me, I’d never go without food!” Then I’d wake up at midnight and steal my own food from the fridge.

↪️my roommate threw a party at my house and i hid from everyone. there's only one front door and everyone would see me if i left and would want to talk to me. i avoided eating that whole night because i didn't want to walk by the party to get food. my car was trapped between other cars. i ended up jumping out of a second story window and walking 3 miles to a 7-eleven

↪️The postman was knocking on my door, so rather than answer it, I decided to army-crawl passed the door (so he wouldn't see me through the frosted glass). Then he pushed open the letterbox, and saw me splayed across the floor.

↪️I'm normally introverted and hate crowds and strangers; if someone unexpected rings my doorbell I will spiderman crawl under windows and throughout my own damn house to try to see who it is without alerting them to the fact that I am home. However, when I was in high school I would still go to house parties or the club with friends (even though I hate clubbing with every fibre of my being- peer pressure is a bitch.)

The problem would arise when I became drunk. Suddenly I would be convinced that I needed to be far away from any and all human interaction, so I would find a place to hide. I never went too far, because even in my drunken state I didn't want my friends to worry, but there are numerous stories about me disappearing while drunk and for the most part no one ever could find me unless I let them.

I've hidden on playgrounds, in bushes, a forest, my friend's sister's bedroom closet, a tool shed, the back seat of my car, around the side of a house beside a wheelbarrow, under a bed, in a laundry room, numerous bathrooms; there were also a few times I was *really* drunk that I tried to hide in a corner and convince myself no one could see me.

The most embarrassing was probably the drunkest I've ever been- I don't even fully remember it since I blacked out. My friend used to have house parties in his parent's basement, and again I decided I needed to get away so I went to his upstairs kitchen and hid under their kitchen table. What I was too drunk to realize was that his three older brothers were in the attached living room watching a movie at the time. I left eventually for a corner in the basement, but that night dubbed me as 'the dead girl in the corner' because my friend's brother kept apparently asking him,

"Okay, but what should we do with the dead girl in the corner?"

Clubs were different because I didn't want to leave and risk not being able to get back in, so my friends always knew that if I was missing I was probably holed up in a bathroom stall, and they would have to try to coax me out. As I've gotten older I've pretty much stopped drinking altogether, and after a few not-quite-drunk-enough club outings, I told my friends I wouldn't do it anymore. I knew once I started bringing a book to the club so I could read it in a bathroom stall that it was just not worth my time, money, or discomfort anymore.

TL;DR- I hide when drunk, or spend time at the club reading in a bathroom stall to avoid socializing with people.

↪️I once spent a weekend in a hotel because I just wanted to be alone and chill, reading books and watching TV. The people I lived with at the time couldn't spend more than an hour on there own with some sort of social interaction.

The roomie I have now is like-minded and we can go days without talking/seeing each other and its great.

↪️I went to an empty room and stood in the dark for 45 minutes to avoid a team bonding event

↪️I stopped talking for an entire year of school. Fifth grade, to be precise.

↪️I wear headphones all the time. Even if they're off/not plugged in. I'm so much more productive at work, people at the gym let me be, and people on the street leave me alone on my walk home.

↪️I'm not as shy and introverted as I used to be, but now I have moods where I do not even want to SEE a single person until the mood has passed. When I was living in dorms in college, I would stand in my closet or bathroom for hours just so I wouldn't have to see the people talking in my room. I ended up hearing a lot of conversations I shouldn't have heard because nobody ever knew I was there lol.

↪️I never hid, but people would have all kinds of conversations around me and just not notice I was there because I was so quiet. I would be sitting a yard a way, and they just carried on like no one was there. I know so many secrets about people that they would be shocked to know that I know.

↪️I call it "people juice"... when it's gone, it's gone and there's nothing you can do about it except be a dick to anyone you have to interact with. Fortunately, my amazing wife learned about it with me as I was learning how to be married... I have a man cave down stairs now and sometimes she'll just say "Go down stairs, you need down time" before I realize I'm even drained.

↪️When I was in high school, I used to hide in the basement bathroom of the English building, on the floor of the handicap stall. I’d read books or do crossword puzzles to pass the 30 minutes before my next class.

Then, when I finally started an art class, which was down the hall from my shitty situation, the art teacher used to let me spend lunch in his classroom. We would do crossword puzzles together everyday.

↪️Hid under a bed while a real estate agent showed a couple around my flat. Couldn’t be bothered to go out but can’t stand small talk, so decided to lay low.

I had a cup of tea, cushions, a Nokia with Snake on it. I was quite happy under there.

They were 25 minutes late. I guess I was under the bed for just over an hour.

I feared a sneeze.

I was in my early twenties.

↪️I am laughing silently in my office imagining what would have happened if anyone had casually looked under the bed.

↪️I sometimes hide in the closet from my dog walker on days I can't be bothered to tell her I'm working from home. One time she brought her girlfriend over to show her my condo (why?!) and I was so afraid she was going to open the closet and go "And look at all this closet space!" and find me.

↪️In my childhood home there were two large windows on either side of the front door so any visitor could see you and you could see them. After the initial entry there was a long hallway with the kitchen at the end.

One day someone rang the doorbell when I was home alone. My parents told me not to answer the door when I was home alone but I wanted to see who it was. So I stood in the kitchen and peered around the kitchen corner to look out the front door. I locked eyes with two Jehovah's Witnesses and then I just slowly pulled my head back around the kitchen corner like nothing even happened.

I played way too many James Bond video games as a kid and this corner peering method worked 0/10 times.

↪️If my intention is to cross the street and a car is coming by, I keep walking until it passes on the off chance that it tries to stop for me.

↪️I'm not really introverted or shy, but I haaaate phone calls. I never know what to say, and I always end up talking over people when they pickup. I also dread leaving voicemails, they always sound stupid.

↪️In order to avoid a mandatory Christmas social for work, I legitimately took myself to the ER just to get the registration wristband (for proof that I actually went to the hospital) and then left. Wasn’t sick or anything, and I didn’t even see a doctor. I just needed a hospital wristband to prove that I had a reason not to go to the work mixer (so I wouldn’t get fired).

I hated my coworkers.

↪️Going to cross the street, but then stopping and pretending I don't have too if there's a car approaching so I don't inconvenience them.

↪️Every single day I order starbucks on the app no matter how inside the store I am. A lot of days there isn’t even a line but that doesn’t stop me!

↪️My brother and I will order it on the app and then stand outside and wait a few minutes until it’s ready. You’re not alone! 😂

↪️I am a merchant mariner, so I spend a lot of time at sea. I have used the excuse "stuck on a ship" to get out of countless weddings and family get togethers. I live on a farm in a town where I dont know a single person. I usually cook my own food so I rarely eat out. I go on hikes and bike rides every day, but wear earphones so if someone tries to start conversation, I just act like I dont hear them. Also, did I mention I spend half of my life on a ship. Yeah, I am a recluse. I dont have facebook. I have a few friends on instagram that I rarely talk to.

↪️Uh how do you get a job like that?

↪️I went to a maritime academy in the USA, just like a normal college, only you learn how to be an officer on a ship, either become an engineer or a mate. Or you can work your way up from ordinary sailor all the way to captain, it just takes a lot longer and you still have to pass all the tests but you have to learn pretty much on your own.

↪️What's the cut off age to start?

↪️There isn't one. There were guys at the academy in their 50s looking for a new exciting career. There are ordinary sailors and cooks on ships who started sailing in their 60s.

↪️Maybe I should do this.

↪️its good money. and you get a day for day vacation with most companies. I work 45 days on and get 45 day off. Some jobs like tug boats work 1 week on 1 week off. Other jobs can be multiple months. it all just depends on the company. I love my career, not a lot of people can say that.

↪️women basically get their pick of whatever company they want to work for. Due to diversity quotas. If you get through the academy, I wouldn't be suprised if you got a job on a drill ship making $900 a day.

↪️That's a lot of money. I hear it was lucrative but I didn't know it could be that good.

↪️Wow. This is my newest fallback plan. Thanks!

👆Damn. Now I want to go to a maritime academy instead of stupid law school.

↪️I work at a hotel and one of the worst things about it are the really chatty guests. They'll just stand at my desk and jibber-jabber, completely failing to take the hint. Even saying "Excuse me, I have a lot of work to do" will typically only get them to say "Oh don't let me interrupt"--but they'll never walk away.
I've learned to call the hotel phone from my cell phone. I answer the phony call and and tell the guest "Excuse me, this is important." Then I slip into the back and watch them on the video monitors until they fuck off.

↪️In high school I didn’t have a car so I walked home. I used to just fast walk to try to beat the crowd of people, but I just didn’t want to deal with it anymore so I would stay in the computer lab sometimes and ask my dad to pick me up a few hours later.

So once the bell rang to go home, I would just stay in class since I had computers last. The teacher would forget I was in there/not even notice me and then turn the lights off, lock the door, then leave... honestly I didn’t mind at all, I got to play video games by myself and one time about an hour and a half later the janitor came in and I guess I scared him. He turned the lights on and literally screamed when he saw me. :(

↪️Night janitor is probably also an antisocial person. Loves his quiet nights, no kids, just him, the quiet, and the mop.

↪️It goes both ways. I used to be a night janitor. I just wanted to quickly clean my section, take care of my responsibilities and then get paid to read some books. Some co-workers would catch me and blab and blab forever about anything and everything. It is a lonely, thankless job and these guys just wanted some contact. Now that I’m older, more honest, albeit at a different job, I just say something like “parties aren’t really for me”.

↪️Well fuck me I know what im doing when I retire....

↪️Not proud of this, but I spent the last ten years building an investment portfolio that I could live on and retire early. The reason I wanted so badly to retire early was so that I didn't have to spend time with banalities like small talk and pointless meetings with my co-workers.

So, in a nutshell, I went frugal, saved and invested my money, and stopped working...all just to avoid talking to Bob from Accounting.

↪️Rather than associate with my nosy aunt when I lived with her, I told her I was going out for a while, moved my car up the street, and sat in it watching Netflix in my phone for a couple hours.

↪️lolol that is pro level right there. netflix in the car is the best "me" time

↪️If I notice someone waiting for the elevator when I'm leaving work, I will turn around and go back to my office acting like I forgot something just so I don't have to endure 15 floors of not talking to someone I barely know. It's a daily thing.

↪️It looked like my boss and I were about to leave work the same time. Rather than risk an elevator ride of small talk, I rushed to the stairs and happily desended 29 floors of stairs.

↪️Bought an old farmhouse with land around it, a mile off the nearest B road.

Can get to work in about 25 mins, but no one's even aware the house is there so no one ever visits / comes near it - bliss. Human interaction only ever now occurs outside working hours on my terms!

I intend to keep chickens for eggs, goats for milk and cheese, bees and a fruit and veg plot. I'm off the water and gas grids but do have electricity, though I intend to go hydroelectric at some point. Ironically though, my job relies almost totally on understanding and manipulating human interaction...

↪️My parents had some of their friends coming over for dinner and drinks. I didn't want to have the same conversation about college with 10 different individuals who barely know me. So instead of going down stairs when dinner was ready, I climbed out my second story window, sprained my ankle, limped to my car, and spent the next 3 hours in the McDonald's parking lot. The sprained ankle was definitely worth it.

↪️Girl Scouts selling cookies at entrance to Walmart. Note, it’s the north entrance and very near where I parked. I’ll come back to this...

Usually I just motion to my pockets, smile and say “Sorry, maybe next time,” if I say anything at all.

This time, for reasons passing understanding, I blurt out “I’ll grab some on the way out.”

I do my shopping, use self check (because introvert) and get ready to leave. Panic washes over me as I realize they are still at the entrance, I have no cash and I’ve made what is basically an introvert blood-oath to buy cookies.

Again, my car is parked just outside the north entrance. I promptly walk across the Walmart to the south entrance and exit there. I then completely encircle the parking lot on the off chance they might see me, and sneak into my car like an uncoordinated introvert ninja.

TL:DR, covered an extra half mile out of my way to avoid children selling cookies.

↪️i dont go into a shopping aisle in the grocery store unless it's empty. so, that, probably.